HELLO! I have learned something over the last six weeks. Feeling poorly does not inspire me to write. Most of the low points are now behind me. Friday was a big day. My chemo/pump that was tethered to me was removed. It was pumping the chemical 5FU into my bloodstream. The title to this post says it all for me. The radiation has been rough but I really think the chemo has been worse. I think I am over the nausea and other stomach turmoil. My hands and feet are beginning to heal and the top layers of skin are starting to peel so they look pretty nasty. Underneath the dead layers are new layers of skin that have feeling so that is good. I have my appetite back but not my sense of taste. I discovered that I can sense tastes and flavors in my brain so I will often get a craving for a particular food. I will make it or pick it up and then upon eating it has no taste and is a rapid disappointment. So I am currently eating bland food and dreaming about good food.
More good news is that this Tuesday is my last day of radiation. After 7 months I have no more planned treatments. I do not know what I will do with myself. Being sick and getting treated is all I have really known and focused on for about a year now. It seems like a long time ago. Cat and I will head to the mountains on Tuesday and then we will have to return on Friday. Saturday is the PanCan walk at Grant Park. All are welcome to join us and we will be in touch with all of you that signed up to walk to make meeting arrangements. Cat and I are making T Shirts for all the walkers. We have raised a little over $3700 and would love to hit $4000. If anyone feels the urge here is the link one more time http://pancan.kintera.org/faf/home/default.asp?ievent=284819.
My plan is to contact the Arizona Cancer Center next week to see if they will do DNA testing on my tumor (the hospital has frozen slides). They are good at locating markers that would indicate specific types of treatment. I also am researching to see if anyone has developed maintenance programs for pancreatic cancer. As is all cancers the "what you cannot see" is what needs to be treated.
After the PanCan walk we will be getting ready for my favorite time of year, Thanksgiving. It is definitely on and plans have been made. We should have a good crowd this year so don't forget to join us. We will serve dinner around 6 - 6:30 and entertain until the wee hours. If you plan on joining us for dinner just bring a vegetable side, a desert or a bottle of wine. We will be serving a smoked turkey and a traditional turkey this year. I will be modeling my Chemical Thursday wardrobe this year. This is a special Thanksgiving for me mainly because I am very grateful and thankful to just be present. I am also looking forward to thanking everyone for being so supportive and encouraging to both me and to Cathy. For those of you that usually show for the Friday night Alfredo's meal there finally is a change this year. We are breaking tradition and will be dining at Amalfi's this year. It is northern Italian in Roswell. Salvatore is the prorietor and Mama is the chef de cuisine. They are all prepared for us. Here is what Zagat's has to say about them. http://www.zagat.com/Verticals/PropertyDetails.aspx?VID=8&R=68317. We will have a private room for our group. I am really pumped.
I look forward to being a bit more regular with my posts and to seeing everyone over the holidays, Thanksgiving, Channukah and Xmas.
3 comments:
So glad to hear you sound SO RELIEVED, upbeat and confident! I know how much you love Thanksgiving and this year your life embodies the word. I so wish we were closer--have always wanted to join these festivities!
God Bless Paul!!! Enjoy enjoy enjoy.
PS...Don't worry about the loss of taste. I, too, have this but my affliction is permanent. I totally understand your "taste memories" for that was stage one before what now is a "fleeting hint" of taste. My loss is from Zyrtec. The minute print in their literature speaks to this possibility.
As person who loves to cook (as both of us do), it means I have to follow recipes instead of my taste.
If I take the leap and try something on my own, I will always ask Werner if it needs more, let's say "Oregano." His answer is always, "Pepper...needs more pepper." If I ask again about Oregano, the answer is always the same.... "I don't know what that tastes like, just add more pepper!"
SIGH.....
Hugs and love for a wonderful Thanksgiving and Holiday Season!!!
Paul, I feel a HUGE sense of relief that you are free of your chemical sidekick and now the radiation also! I can't know that hell, but I can certainly hear it in your posts. This is truly a Thanksgiving year to be extra thankful. And I for one, am grateful that you are moving into a new period with your sense of humor intact! I will be thinking of you and Cathy at Thanksgiving with a renewed sense of how grateful I am...
Looking forward to seeing you at TG this year. I know I have been spotty about attending in years past and that has been my loss, for sure. The older I get, the more my social anxiety kicks in. I came to see you at the hospital several months ago, and ended up sitting in the car the while Mark went in...I so wanted to let you know I was thinking of you, but I just struggle more and more with this stupid weirdness that is social anxiety. Anyway, I check in here all the time. I am watching you kick cancer's ass and I can't wait to celebrate when this is behind you.
Melanie Lancaster
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