Inclusion, acceptance & compassion

The "achy bone shots" did their job. My white count is up and the good guys are back in the saddle. I even have extras built up for the next few weeks of cowboy combat. I learned today that since my chemo comes in three week cycles that the blood count is a three week trend. So the wise good doctor has suggested I take the shots before the third week to prevent the dreaded infectious period. Let me give you a little sense of what last week was like. The instructions were stay away from crowds, kids, flowers, plants, gardening and be conscious of exposure to bacteria and wash my hands frequently. I got paranoid. Wherever you are close your eyes and before you open focus on looking around and finding places that accumulate germs that you should not touch. Then go from room to room and walk outside and do the same thing. Between Cat and I, we were the King and Queen of "UN-uh" don't touch. Or "did you wash your hands?". Don't you dare put your fingers near your mouth?" "Is that your hand touching the bottom of your shoe?" Come to think of it, that was all Cat doing the asking. A very boring way to spend a week and a stupid, unhealthy thing to do to you mind. BUT, one good day quickly wipes out the bad memories and the last two have felt good. Because of my weight loss I can stop taking my blood pressure med and I did that a few days ago. During this weaning process I get these light adrenalin rushes. Yesterday was like being on an extra low dose of a diet pill. I talked all day. I think Cat was telling people it was good to see my energy level up and then would put on her ear plugs to be with me. It was really kinda fun but that feeling was probably some sort of subconscious flashback memory revisitation. (Obviously the adrenalin still has some lingering effects).
Melanie, Cat and I went to chemo today. For me it was comforting going back to a place of familiarity with a group of people that I could publicly, privately and silently relate to. It is probably similar to people who like to drink and go to bars. The bar is a place you can go for many reasons. One is it is somewhere you can be alone with a lot of people and choose how you will or will not interact. Chemical Thursdays are like that for me in a comforting way. Everyone has a root history in common. We are all attached to a Pole that has a bunch of clear bags hanging off of it with tubes attached leading to the inner sanctums of our bodies for distribution. It breaks barriers quickly. Our common theme and the safety of numbers seems to allow every one to drop their guard varying degrees when they come in for infusion. I may be odd but it is not a bad place. In truth it is a healing space.
It is the Fourth. We are staying in Atlanta and spending part of it with both friends and family and I am sure I will have some alone time to get reacquainted with Mr. Cisplatin and Ms. Gemzar (my friendly chemo couple). I wish all of you to have a fun weekend. I watched a public televison show last night on the history of the statue of liberty. I realized I had never heard or read the entire dedication poem on the statue memorial. The one that says "give me your tired your poor... I encourage you to go read it. That poem and maybe the Declaration of Independence are grounding in nature. My soap box says the day is about remembering inclusion not intolerance, acceptance not aggression and compassion not coersion.

Most importantly it is all about Bar-B-Q. We must include, accept and have compassion for all. Even those misguided few who believe that Bar-B-Q has anything to do with beef.

Be well.